Supporting LGBTQ+ Youth in Foster Care
The Salvation Army’s mission is “to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ and to meet human needs in His name without discrimination.” In our foster care and adoption program, we work very tangibly to meet the needs of some of the most vulnerable humans on the planet – children who have experienced abuse or neglect. Sadly, children who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender are far more likely to enter the foster care system. And once they do, they are more likely to experience discrimination and additional abuse and mistreatment.
According to youth.gov, “LGBTQ+ youth are overrepresented in child welfare systems, even though they are likely to be underreported because they risk harassment and abuse if their LGBTQ+ identity is disclosed. Studies have found that about 30 percent of youth in foster care identify as LGBTQ+ and 5 percent as transgender, in comparison to 11 percent and 1 percent of youth not in foster care. Furthermore, LGBTQ+ youth of color are disproportionately overrepresented in the child welfare system and stay longer in child welfare systems, while also having an increased risk of experiencing discrimination and violence compared to their peers.”
So what does it look like to meet the needs of these precious children and young adults in His name without discrimination?
First of all, we must remember the purpose of foster care, and the role of foster parents. The purpose of foster care is to provide a safe, loving, and temporary home for children to heal while their families are focusing on the issues that led to their children being removed. Too often, LGBTQ+ youth in foster care have experienced violence, discrimination, and hostility from their parents or caregivers due to their sexuality or gender identity (sadly, this is one of the primary reasons LGBTQ+ youth are so overrepresented in the child welfare system). It is vitally important that foster parents demonstrate to them that they will be fully accepted, supported, and protected while in care.
There are some simple, practical things foster parents can do to make their home a safe place for LGBTQ+ youth:
- When introducing yourself to a child being placed in your home, consider sharing your pronouns, giving the youth permission to let you know their preferred pronouns as well. Once you learn their pronouns, use them!
- Think about subtle ways you can make your home welcoming. Imagine the relief an LGBTQ+ youth would instantly feel when entering a new home if they saw a pride flag or other tangible symbol of acceptance letting them know they don’t have to hide their true self or risk being hurt for who they are.
- Remember that it’s ok if you don’t understand everything about the child’s sexual orientation or gender identity – it is likely they are still figuring it out, too. Ask genuine, non-judgmental questions and be willing to learn together.
- Seek out positive role models from within the LGBTQ+ community and prioritize opportunities for your child to be around them.
- Become your child’s biggest advocate! Remember that your job as a foster parent is to love and support them for the time they are in your home, not to figure out or change their identity. They are naturally in a period of exploration and growth, so their identity may evolve or change while they are with you, and that’s ok. As their advocate, you can make sure they feel empowered and supported along this journey of self-discovery.
- Be prepared that any child in your home may be LGBTQ+, even if they were not yet out at the time of placement. This could certainly be true even of your biological child, but it is more likely for children in foster care because they may have been afraid to openly identify as LGBTQ+ in their birth family home or previous foster care placement due to fear of repercussions or rejection. Think of it as a positive – if they feel safe enough in your home to come out, you’re doing a great job at creating a safe and accepting environment!
- Remember that their sexuality or gender is only a part of their whole authentic self – and at their core, they are just a kid like any other kid! They are looking to belong, to matter to somebody, and to live a happy and safe life. No matter what, they deserve the opportunity to have this.
We understand that for many foster parents, the idea of caring for an LGBTQ+ youth might be overwhelming and intimidating. You might be afraid of saying the wrong thing, or inadvertently offending them. Or you may not feel equipped for the deep, complicated work of helping a child discover their identity. That’s completely ok! We will be here to support and assist you.
If you have a heart for caring for LGBTQ+ youth and would like to learn more about becoming a foster parent, please contact us! We would love to work with you.
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