TBRI Tip: Lowering the Bar
When children are struggling - whether it's a big life change, a tough school day, emotional dysregulation, or just an off day - it's important to remember that our expectations may need adjusting. Lowering the bar isn't about letting children "get away" with things; it's about giving them opportunities to succeed when life feels overwhelming. Success, even in small steps, builds confidence and trust.
For example, maybe your routine is that your child comes home from school, has a snack, and then jumps right into homework. But today you notice they're agitated, tired, or carrying the weight of a hard day. Instead of insisting on the routine, you can lower the bar by giving them their snacks and offering a choice: "Would you like to start homework now, or take some time to relax first?" That small adjustment communicates: I see you. I hear you. Your needs matter.
Lowering the bar isn't just for kids - it's for us as caregivers, too. Maybe your expectation for yourself after work is to make a full dinner, but you're exhausted. Giving yourself permission to order pizza instead is another way of lowering the bar. It's a practice of grace - for yourself and for those you love.
When we lower the bar, we aren't giving up; we're tuning in. We're showing children from hard places (and ourselves) that relationships matter more than rigid expectations. This is how we create felt safety, trust, and connection - the heart of TBRI.
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