Gift Ideas for New Foster/Adoptive Parents
Last night, I met with a prospective adoptive family who told me that their friends and family are hosting an adoption shower for them, and they asked me for some gift ideas that they could share. I absolutely LOVE this - not just because it's a fun question, but because it is a beautiful gesture of support and love for a new family on this journey. I know that if their friends and family are already planning to shower them with love and gifts, they will continue to show up for them in other ways too!
Planning a shower for new foster/adoptive parents is a lot different than planning a traditional baby shower. After all, they don't know their future child's age, gender, interests...or even how many they will be welcoming. But there are still lots of incredibly meaningful and helpful gifts that their loved ones can bring. And I speak from personal experience, because once upon a time my own friends and family did this for me when I was a newly licensed foster parent - and it was so very sweet and helpful!
Here are our top picks for gifts to "shower" a foster/adoptive family:
Gift Cards
There is truly nothing more helpful for a new foster/adoptive parent than a gift card. They'll never be able to anticipate in advance all of the necessities that they'll need once a child comes into their home, so gift cards can help them to alleviate the financial burden of grabbing whatever is needed during those chaotic first days - everything from pajamas and underwear to carseats and bottles to groceries and gas.
Here are some ideas for gift cards that would be practical for families:
- Amazon
- Target/Walmart
- Grocery stores
- Gas stations
- Fast food
- Meal Delivery like DoorDash, GrubHub, UberEats, etc.
- Coffee (they will need it!)
- Kids' clothing/shoe stores
Books
Books are a great gift for new parents, especially if they don't already have children in the home. If you know the age range they are planning to foster/adopt, you can share your favorite children's books with them to help them build their library.
We also put together two lists of recommended books that are more specific to foster care/adoption:
Sensory Items:
You could honestly stop after books and gift cards, but if you are looking for more physical items that can be wrapped up, might we suggest sensory items? Of course, this depends largely on the age range the family is planning to foster or adopt, but we have found that sensory items - both big and small - can be a game changer for many children as they adjust to being in a new home. For this one, I would probably recommend that the new parents create their own wishlist as they will probably want to have some input into things that would fit into their homes (and people have varying comfort levels with things like swings that permanently attach to the ceiling/door frame). Some ideas include:
- Squishmallows - ALL ages love these, from babies right up through teens!
- Fidget toys - probably most popular with the elementary-age crowd, but can be fun even for older kids
- "Crash and bump" items like crash pads, play couches/chairs, soft play/climbers for toddlers, etc.
- Sensory swings
- Sensory tents
- Noise cancelling head phones
- Bedtime noise machines, projectors, nightlights, etc.
Toys:
When it comes to making a home a welcoming place for children, there might not be anything more important than toys! However, a word of caution: it can be easy to go overboard here, especially if you don't know the ages/genders/interests of the children you will be caring for, so we recommend keeping some classic, quality toys on hand and then expanding your collection once the children come. If you're creating a wishlist for your upcoming shower, you may want to add some staple toys to it.
For younger children, a play kitchen with accessories is always a hit! (Just be careful to keep any small pieces put away for babies/toddlers.) Little ones also like playhouses, small slides or climbing structures, baby dolls, stuffed animals, cars, and blocks. Little People are also popular with the toddler/preschool ages and have lots of cool houses and accessories to mix and match. If you have a backyard, think bubbles, balls, small ride-on toys, and sidewalk chalk. Having a stash of sensory play items like Play-Doh, Kinetic Sand, or a sensory bin can be helpful for rainy days or when you need to get out something special.
For older kids, consider investing in a collection of something like magnet tiles (fun for a wide range of ages and both boys and girls). Arts and craft supplies are also popular with this age group. If you're a gaming family (of the board or video variety), consider adding some kid-friendly games to your collection so that you can play together. For outside, think lawn games, water play, or even sports equipment like a basketball hoop or soccer goal(s). Sensory play is still "cool" even for older kids - and if you're feeling brave, having materials to make DIY slime would make you a super cool parent! Most kids in this age range also love LEGO, so having a few sets on hand would be fun, especially for those first days when they're still settling in.
Personal Gifts:
Some of the most meaningful gifts I personally received as a foster parent were handmade from the heart by my family and friends. If you are attending or hosting a foster/adoption shower, consider what you can make that might be appreciated by the family you are showering. You don't have to be a master craftsman to come up with something special - just think of what you can offer! Anything from a freezer meal to a basket of their favorite snacks to enjoy when they need some "me time" to an advance coupon for a free night of babysitting would all be special.
At my shower, each of my friends and family wrote out notes of encouragement on little cards that the host then hole-punched and threaded onto a metal ring. I ended up hanging this on a little hook next to my twins' changing table and flipped through the messages so a new one was showing each day. It brought SO much encouragement and many smiles into those early days of learning to be a parent.
One of my friends framed foster-care related quotes for me to hang in my house.
Another crocheted a baby blanket (and then later, when they found out I had welcomed twins, quickly made a second one!).
Even 8 years later, we still occasionally open up a board book from my shower to see an encouraging note written inside the cover, and it brings a smile to my face every time!
Gifts to Skip:
I've shared a lot of ideas for meaningful, practical, and helpful gifts to share with new foster and adoptive parents. I want to finish by giving a few suggestions of things NOT to give them. Please hold off on:
- Mountains of hand-me-downs - While kind and well-intentioned, hand-me-downs can quickly become overwhelming, especially if they don't yet know the size/gender of clothing their future child(ren) will need. This could create more work for them later of having to find a home for unused items, or take up too much space in their home. It's best to stick to gift cards for now, and then offer specific hand-me-downs once you know what they need!
- Outdated, worn, stained, or broken items - There is an unfortunate misconception that children in foster care don't have anything, and should be happy with other people's old discarded items. This is simply not true. All children deserve the dignity of having new or excellent condition items to call their own.
- Unsolicited advice - Please, please be careful with the advice you give to new foster/adoptive parents. Their parenting journey is going to look very different from yours, and the things that worked for you may not work for children who have experienced trauma. You may have opinions on their decision to foster or adopt, the age range or number of children they should accept, or the parenting choices that they're making, but please remember that those decisions are for them to make, with the guidance of the agency, and we will be supporting them with training and equipping to parent children from hard places. What they need is your encouragement and support, not your judgement!
Thank you for supporting a new foster/adoptive family! If you have additional ideas, we would love to hear about them!
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